No doubt, self-confidence is extremely important and governs our success in many aspects of life. We ourselves seek confidence in people we interact in our daily lives, be it the charismatic speaker who inspires hundreds or thousands of people with his speech or a confident doctor who is able to revive the hope of getting well in chronically ill-patients.
Your body language, your behavior, the way your present your thoughts, the way you answer, is all a part of your self-confidence. You are not likely to be convinced by a person who fumbles or feels nervous and down by your queries as he/she is trying to explain you about some deal. On the other hand, a self-confident person answers you assuredly and is able to deny or accept anything without any fear.
Some people lack this important quality of confidence and are not able to be successful in whatever they do. Many of us fail to admit it publicly that we need to be more self confident but it is what we actually feel inside. Building confidence is an exercise that involves setting and achieving goals by building competence. Some incompetent people mistake their shallow over-confidence as their self-confidence. In some cases, a sense of low-self esteem results in lack of confidence. Thus self-confidence has got to do with our affirmations and positive thinking. A low self-confidence can be self-destructive and kills our instincts by manifesting a feeling of negativity
Having understood that self-confidence is vital to our survival in this competent and fast world, you must be wondering if you could be more confident and make an effort to improve it. Well, it’s true that self-confidence can be built and one can succeed in whatever pursuit one chases with a gained self-confidence. Here we shall take a 21 day journey to accelerate you towards an improved self-confidence:
Tip 1: Appreciate your achievements
This is the first step towards starting a journey to self-confidence. If you can think about your achievements so far, they give you a sense of worthiness. Prepare an “Achievement Diary”, a kind of list, sorting the important achievements, be it academic, professional, related to sports or any other field. It may be a totally different achievement, say of having done something extraordinary, having helped someone in their tough times etc.
Everyone has their areas of excellence, it is important to discover what you are good at. Art, music and writing are some of the forms that allow you to express yourself. You definitely have some talents that you must enjoy. If you can name some things that you would love to do, follow your passion and you will definitely feel unique and accomplished.
If you properly format all your achievements in a document, looking at it would make you feel proud of yourself and feel confident. Thus time spent in revisiting your success achieved so far is a great relief and helps you overcome the feelings of being unimportant and insignificant. A sense of higher enjoyment about things you did is definitely going to take your confidence levels higher.
Tip 2: Realize your strengths
All of you know your strengths and weakness, but you usually spend very less time trying to ponder over your strengths. Most of your thoughts and mental energy is spent in moaning over your weaknesses or your shortcomings. Spend some time thinking what opportunities you came across and how you utilized them. Also try to recollect the threats that you faced and how you managed to handle them and work out solutions. Enjoying a few minutes reflecting on your strengths is an excellent way to feel confident and worthy.
Tip 3: Be Thankful for what you have
Most of the regrets stem from the feeling of insecurity that you are less blessed than others. You feel dissatisfied and insignificant as you look at what others have be it money, luck, property etc. It is important to appreciate what you have, may be a good family, faithful and trustworthy friends, helpful neighbors etc. Everything that counts in life is not what you miss. Inner peace of mind comes, when you have gratitude and content for owning all that really counts.
Even the gravest situations in life have something for a person to keep faith and stay hopeful. People with lesser regrets and higher hopes are able to achieve more in life because their confidence in their abilities and appreciation for what life has endowed them with.
Tip 4: Build knowledge
“Knowledge is power” and is one of the keys to confidence. A person who lacks sufficient knowledge can never be confident before anyone. A knowledgeable person, on the other hand carries confidence in his way of talking and expressing. With your goals set and skills identified that are required to achieve them, you must progress towards achieving them and attain the goal confidently. A course that equips you with these skills shall make you feel proud as you shall be able to achieve what you want with a qualification needed. Also an awareness of current affairs, of jobs, of surroundings and of people around you empowers you to be able to converse on meaningful topics with anyone.
Tip 5: Keep your goals short and achievable
Improving your knowledge demands goals to be set. But there is a point to remember while identifying them. Make sure that the goals are small so that you can get into the habit of achievement and celebrate your success more often and feel more confident. Keeping too challenging and tough goals which are not achievable in short time and are based on a long term target is not recommended. With shorter targets, you will have a pile of successes soon to feel commendable about.
Short goals are the best way to accelerate towards the path of success as they give you times to enjoy the achievements that come with shorter milestones.
Tip 6: Grooming
A very important thing for a person seeking confidence is to look well and have a good personal hygiene. If you look good, you are quite likely to act so. Keep your skin, face, hair, teeth and your complete body clean. Maintain it well and if needed use deodorants or scented soaps to keep away any body odor. Your skin can stay good if you eat a good amount of fruits and drink lots of water.
A wise choice of your dresses can help improve your self-esteem in a great way. Wear clothes and colors that look well on your body and not on the dummies. Going by people’s (family and friends) common opinion on what looks good on you can help you feel confident about what you wear.
Tip 7: Walk Smart
Every step that you take has to be quick and energetic instead of being sluggish and shuffling. You have to choose a style of walk that complements you well. You can guide your walk by getting involved in some outdoor activity that gives you a renewed and fresh spirit and heart to feel confident. Confident people walk with a grace and the fact also works backwards.
If your confidence about the way you walk hasn’t improved really, go with the old-age trick of keeping an object like a book and trying to walk without fumbling or letting the book fall down, a simple yet effective way to improve your confidence.
Tip 8: Smile a lot
Smile makes you look complete. Very often it’s the missing smile which makes people feel and look less confident. Let a tiny smile be around your face all the time. Greeting people you meet with smile can help you feel at ease in your outside world interactions. At the same time it gives them an impression that you are a cheerful and confident person and know how to take life.
This world is our mirror and we often feel and think about ourselves the way others feel and think about us. Therefore, if people find you friendly and happy-go-lucky with a smile around the corners of your mouth, you shall also begin to feel the same confidence in yourself.
Tip 9: Find solutions to Problems
Procrastination is the enemy of your confidence. If you have the habit of running away from problems, you shall always lack the confidence inside. A confident person takes the problems and challenges on face and tries to work upon them. Never be afraid of any problem, howsoever big it may seem. It boosts your inner confidence a lot when you overcome hardships and tough times with strength and find solutions with all your might, keeping faith in your abilities.
There is no harm in seeking help from friends, colleagues or someone else to find solutions to your problems. By finding workable solutions to your problems, you shall learn to see success and celebrate it. Confidence shall automatically follow as you start succeeding.
Tip 10: Look in the Mirror and Smile
Facial feedback or what you get back from your expressions has a significant image on your self-esteem. Your brain begins to register certain emotions as you see them on your face. Thus, if you look into the mirror and smile, you shall feel happier about yourself and carry confidence.
Just like your smile in the mirror, your acting confident can also work equally well in improving your self-image. Pretend confident, observe your motions and take pride in feeling good. This will transform into your inner-confidence.
Tip 11: Have firm principles
It’s not easy but unless you have an undeterred faith in something, you don’t have anything. People who fail to stand for something have nothing they can stick to and thus they are more likely to feel deceived by adversities.
If you follow your principles whatever may be the situation, then there is something that you can always claim to follow and rely upon. It is true that if you trust your principles and stick to them, you will always have the courage to fight against the hardships as your belief in them keeps you confident and inspired.
Tip 12: Help others
You will see a very positive change in yourself by making a difference in the lives of people around you. You could help people in very small ways like helping an old man/woman by carrying his heavy goods, being kind to your maid servants, spending some good time in an orphanage counseling kids who have no guardians to guide them. Several such small contributions could be made to the society in form of time, money or just kindness which could bring a sense of self-satisfaction and worthiness in you boosting your self esteem and thus confidence. You shall find your worth as a responsible and kind human being who can support the positive force in the world.
Tip 13: Don’t try to be a perfectionist
Perfectionism is a disease which will always infect your mind with negativity. The idea of being perfect at everything mars your inner confidence as you see yourself performing less in any area. One must understand that being perfect is trying to be God. If we can realize our capabilities with respect and admit our weaknesses or in-abilities with honor, we shall never try to become a master of everything. Many of our goals remain unaccomplished as we remain confused and worried about doing things perfectly which are not in our domain.
Tip 14: Meditate under Guidance
It is quite a known and established fact scientifically as well as spiritually that meditation helps create a positive effect around us. If you have any kind of negative forces acting on your intellect which stop you from feeling that everything is right around you, then you must start meditation but under able guidance.
Meditation gurus and experts have training sessions which take your state of mind as the problem and gradually help you get out of it by meditation exercises. If you can feel positive and energetic by any such practice, you can definitely get back your lost or diminished self-esteem and switch into more positive state and attain an improved level of confidence.
Tip 15: Create Something
Being creative is an excellent way to feel wonderful. As children, we have our different areas of creativity. Be it playing a new tune on an instrument, be it drawing a unique and picturesque scene which looks lovely and colorful or be it writing a poem or a verse. But as we grow into adults, most of these are missed out and we fail to give a vent to our feelings by creating anything new.
Don’t worry thinking that you have lost the creativity now. It is still within you and requires you to open out your mind and start a new discovery. As you start creating something new, you begin to feel confident about your experience. It gives you a sense of revived confidence in your hidden capabilities.
Tip 16: Listen to Music
If your confidence is shaken because of an interview call for a challenging position, or because of an impending exam or anything new that is about to happen in your life, an inspiring and motivational music can help you get out of the state of unstable confidence. You shall feel energetic and packed with confidence as the music shall pump your inner confidence and let it show on your face and in your gestures.
Day 17: Exercise regularly
Regular exercise improves your energy levels and prevents them from falling down to larger extents thus landing you in a more positive state. It gives you an improved self-esteem automatically compared to what you feel for yourself when you spend time lazing around, eating junk food and watching T.V.
You feel as you look. Thus being in shape with a fit body definitely makes you feel powerfully confident.
Tip 18: Forget the Past
“Yesterday is a History, Today is a Gift”. One must value the “Present” that we have in our hands instead of wasting time regretting over the past moments. What happened last year, last month or last week is not what shall create your future. Your present beholds your future and to make it lively and lovable, you must stop your past from affecting you and your future. Even if you have been under-confident for past 10 years, your future still is what you can choose by trying out the ways to improve it now.
Previous thoughts are useless and hinder your progress towards a better self image. It is like creating a mind tangling cage which stops you from free and progressive thinking.
Tip 19: Be Good to Yourself
The worst thing on this earth is to treat oneself badly. There is no possibly reason for you to feel bad about yourself and punish yourself. If you have been criticizing yourself for something and thus not treating yourself in a good way, it’s time to change immediately. It makes no point to complain and be unhappy. Instead recognizing your strengths and developing them is the best way to feel good about you.
Tip 20: Improve your Social Skills
Relationships are vital to your success and growth as an individual. People who are active socially and can find ways to talk and build up relationships easily have an overall sense of confidence in them. If you can work on your gestures and body language well, you can easily have good social skills and also boost your confidence in an easy way.
Once you learn to converse well and be socially confident, your confidence will show in all spheres and walks of life.
Tip 21: Keep your emotions and influences positive
Your positive thinking is also based on whether you see life from a positive lens or do you simply take in your mind what you hear and see. A positive outlook is important for the way you perceive the news and other information of the society around. No doubt most of the breaking news that we watch, listen and read is negative and bleak, but we are required to let only the good part take a seat in your mind or else your attitude and faith will reduce in goodness.
Thus we don’t have to stay passive, but carefully choose what is useful and beneficial for you.
Confidence isn’t an inbuilt trait. It is an art which has to be practiced and built-in you. With the tips given, you may have felt that adapting to changes can bring in significant changes to your confidence level. No failure or rejection is ultimate or final until you have the will to succeed. You have to redefine our failures and let it not ruin your confidence in any way. Never take pain in your life if you see that you are less successful than other people. Remember that past is not what you hold today and present is for you to take benefit of. Wash away any unpleasant memories from your past and believe in your present. Focus outward than inwards. Keeping constant focus on your problems can reduce you to a fumbling, less-confident person. So be careful and keep a watch on your mind.
Comparison is not required as you have your unique abilities that distinguish and set you out of the world. Focus on your strengths with a smile on your face. Compare yourself with nobody else but own self. You will see a successful, happier and confident person evolving in you.