You walk out of an interview room after going through the communication round for a job interview or probably for getting admission to an institute/college. You believe that your answers were pretty fine and convincing. A few hours or days later, as the interview results are out, you learn that you could not make it for the desired application. You wonder what went wrong. Simple, even though your answers were good, it was the poor body language that you carried which resulted in your disqualification. The even more disappointing fact is that you never realized that your body language wasn’t apt.
Your words are only a means to communicate your intentions and thoughts. Your gestures actually define the success or failure of your communication. A body language includes a set of mannerisms, your facial expressions, your body control and position, and even your breath that impresses the other person about your personality. It’s said that “The words that come out of your mouth are merely a drop in the ocean of communication”. Remaining is all upon how pleasant or repulsive your body language is which defines you completely in the conversation with a person or a group of persons. Some people are successful orators while others can’t just be good at what they say and fail to influence, as their body language isn’t engaging.
This body language is crucial in any kind of communication and can even build or ruin the success of your conversation, be it in an interview, a meeting, a speech or even at a regular talk with your spouse or family. A conscious effort is required at times to improve your body language to see a positive outcome and make your words powerful and effective in any communication. Now, it is important to know the signs of an affirmative and successful body language. Here we have a day to day guide presenting the ways to improve your body language in just 21 days.
Day 1: Create Awareness
If we pay attention to the way we do everything and when we do it, it is then we are aware of our own actions. Some of you may have the habit of folding our arms or legs when talking to other people. This gesture reflects poorly upon your confidence and gives you a defensive appearance. Crosses created with your body like woman grabbing the shoulder or elbow of the opposite arm is a sign of lack of confidence. Talking with hands and arms unfolded can be a better way to suggest friendliness and openness to other people. Believe me, you will not feel uneasy by changing your existing habit. The feeling of happiness and self-improvement that arises in you as you sit or stand comfortably talking to someone shall motivate you to talk with more happiness and inner freedom. Thus, a small change of being bodily aware (not conscious) shall make you control your body language in a subtle yet powerful way.
Day 2: Make Eye Contact
Our eyes play an important role in communication. It helps the other person feel more comfortable as he/she becomes receptive to your heart and your intentions when you look into their eyes. Eye contact is also a means to keep people interested in what you are saying. Looking here and there when talking to someone can create a sense of boredom and disinterest in the other person. Certain cultures find it offensive or disrespectful to maintain eye contact with strangers or elders. Remember that, you have to make an eye contact and not stare at the person in conversation.
Day 3: Mirroring
If you are talking to someone sitting or standing opposite to them, learn to mirror them. To mirror someone means to copy their tone and pace of talk as well as facial expressions at times. For example: if someone is talking about an unfortunate incident and looks sad, it is important that your face carries a frown over the part of conversation. It gives a sense of comfort to the other person that his/her feelings are being understood. More synergy and connection can be created by subtle mirroring and it becomes a part of your natural behavior as the conversation progresses.
Day 4: Relax
A tensed inner self becomes apparent in a conversation as your shoulders or body becomes stiff and tense. This clearly shows that you are either not comfortable or are afraid of the thoughts of the other person. A relaxed body is important in any kind of conversation as it gives a feeling of ease and comfort to the people carrying out the conservation. A conversation carried out with a calm mind and a relaxed body will always be more pleasant and promising. So, take a Deep breath, Relax Out and you will find your true inner self talking .
Day 5: Smile and Laugh
If you think that seriousness in a conversation is important and it is not actually important to smile, you are staying in a completely dark world of communication. By smiling you can lighten up the conversation and make it livelier rather than boring. A laugh can also add to the chirpiness of certain conversations and help people in the conversation feel lighter. A smile or a joke in a conversation can make you an interesting person to converse with. Smile, as a gesture makes people feel warmth and comfortable in the talk.
Day 6: Keep hold of your hands
Keeping your hands in your pockets may be comfortable but often is a sign of lacking confidence. It gives the impression that you are lazy and disinterested or pose you as an arrogant person. Thus keeping your hands in the pockets is not a sign of positive body language and makes you a disliked personality. Other hand gestures done with free hands can also make a lot of difference to the words that you use and make them more meaningful and effective. You would appear more confident and clear and also would be confident about the topic of conversation.
Day 7: Avoid fidgeting
Very often people are addicted with habit of shaking their leg or tapping the fingers on the table which is taken as a very unpleasant body language in a conversation. You must try to avoid or change such fidgety movements as this may also make you look nervous. The other person will find it a distraction and the conversation will not be carried out perfectly. Try to settle down a bit, stay calm and relaxed, keeping your body movements in control. Controlled body movements can make the conversation a good experience.
Day 8: Keep your pace slow
This is true for the speed of almost everything you do-your speech, your gestures and even your movement. Walking fast can make you look nervous and anxious whereas a slow walk indicates the calm and confidence inside you. Slow gestures not only keep you less stressed but also give elegance to your body language. For example, when you are about to answer someone, it is important to ensure that you just don’t snap your neck in their direction. Instead, be a bit slow in turning your head towards them.
Day 9: Nod your head
When you converse with someone, how well you show them that you are interested, drives your conversation. Nodding your head is the simplest way to make someone feel that you are able to understand and connect to what he/she is saying. It is the most important sign of agreement in terms of body language. When you nod your head, it is an expression of your agreement with their thoughts. Some conversations demand nodding more than others especially where other person wants to be listened without your speaking much. It does not mean that you have to simply bob your head for the sake of nodding, but make them feel that you are a good listener and is with them.
Day 10: Lean In
Leaning in is an important part of the body language to express enthusiasm. When you lean towards the other person, he/she feels that you are finding the conversation engaging. Leaning forward too much can however be an indication of seeking some approval and so one must be careful to not do so. A conversation where your confidence and relaxed self is to be exhibited is to lean back a bit. Leaning backwards can otherwise look arrogant.
To be contd…..